Holiday survival guide for family caregivers

Are you a primary family caregiver for an aging parent or a loved one who has special health needs?  

It can be overwhelming at times. Holiday seasons might make it feel even more so.  

Whether you’re skilled at juggling everything or you're new to the role of caregiving, here are a handful of ideas to ease your way through:

1. Talk about what's important. 

Is there an event or traditional activity your loved one wants to participate in? Maybe attend a grandchild’s program? Or go to a certain service? Or make a special family dish?

Consider ranking what’s most meaningful and do-able. If you can’t do them all, pick a couple. See how to make them happen.

What things do you need to make the experience most enjoyable? Checking hearing aids, glasses, dentures and other medical devices ahead of time can help you ensure that everyone feels comfortable and confident in those activities or meals.

2. Make decisions day-to-day. 

Even the best plans go sideways. Get comfortable taking one day at a time. Practice asking yourself or family…what needs to be done now? What can wait until later? What doesn’t need to be done at all? 

How is everyone feeling? Base your day’s activities on that. If it’s a good day, do more. If it’s not so, lower your expectations and do only what’s necessary.  

3. Ask for help. 

Family, friends, neighbors or church members might be willing to assist in some way. That might picking up something from the store. Or arranging for a ride to an appointment. Or being with your loved one while you’re handling other things.

If you’ve been turned down in the past, check again. Things can change. People are often willing to help if they know the scope of what’s being asked and that their effort is appreciated.

4. Check local resources. 

If caregiving gets to be too much, consider hiring a professional for tasks you don’t feel up for. Many companies offer in-home services and care that can lighten your load. It could be help with laundry, bathing, cooking, feeding or more.  Learn more about PeaceHealth home services.

Community organizations and houses of worship might also offer some kinds of free assistance. Scouting groups, auxiliaries and lodges might also be able to connect you to people who are looking to do service projects. Find other local support services.

5. Manage expectations. 

Let others know that plans could change at the last minute. It can help them know ahead of time the need to be flexible about details.  

If it's an option, consider getting together in the new year when everyone might feel less stressed or stretched. If your family is experiencing loss, these tips can help with grief through this season. 

Through all of this, take care of yourself. When you’re not feeling your best, it’ll be more difficult to care for your loved one. Consider these tips for self-care.