Holiday survival guide for family caregivers

Are you a primary family caregiver for an aging parent or a loved one who has special health needs?  

It can be overwhelming at times. And with decorating, gift shopping, baking, parties or other activities, the holiday season might make it feel even more so.  

Whether you’re skilled at juggling everything or still new to caregiving, here are a handful of ideas to ease your way through the holidays and beyond:

1. Talk about priorities. 

Is there a holiday event or traditional activity your loved one wants to participate in? Maybe attend a grandchild’s program. Or go to a certain service? Or make a special dish?

Consider ranking what’s most meaningful and do-able. If you can’t do them all, pick just a couple. Talk about how to make them happen.

Think about what you might need to make one or more of these wishes a reality. For example, check the fit and function of hearing aids, glasses, dentures or medical devices before a special outing. That can help your loved one feel more at ease.

2. Make decisions day-to-day. 

Even the best plans go sideways. Try to get comfortable taking one day at a time. Practice asking yourself or your loved one…what needs to be done now? What can wait until later? What doesn’t need to be done at all? 

How is everyone feeling? Base your day’s activities on that. If it’s a good day, do more. If it’s not so great, lower your expectations and do only what’s necessary.  

3. Ask for help. 

See if family, friends, neighbors or church members would be willing to assist in some way. Keep in mind what you think someone is able to do. Maybe that’s picking up something from the store. Or arranging for a ride to an appointment. Or being with your loved one while you’re handling other things.

If you’ve been turned down in the past, check again. Things might have changed. People are often willing to help if they know the scope of what’s being asked and that their effort is appreciated.

4. Check local resources. 

If caregiving gets to be too much, consider hiring a professional for tasks you don’t feel up for. Many companies offer in-home services and care that can lighten your load. It could be help with laundry, bathing, cooking, feeding or more.  Learn more about PeaceHealth home services.

Community organizations and houses of worship might also offer some kinds of free assistance. Or see if scouting groups, auxiliaries and lodges can connect you to those who are looking to do service projects. Find other local support services.

5. Manage expectations. 

Let others know that plans could change at the last minute. It can help them know ahead of time the need to be flexible about details.  

If it's an option, consider getting together in the new year when everyone might feel less stressed or stretched. If your family is experiencing loss, these tips can help with grief through this season. 

Through all of this, take care of yourself. When you’re not feeling your best, it’ll be more difficult to care for your loved one. Consider these tips for self-care.