It's not always easy to choose the person who will make medical decisions for you if you're no longer able to make those decisions.
This person is called a health care agent… or sometimes a health care proxy, surrogate, attorney-in-fact, or substitute decision-maker.
You may not want to think about giving this power to someone else.
But it's an important job.
So it's good to give it some thought.
Some people feel like they have to choose their partner or an adult child.
But it's okay if you want to choose a more distant relative, or someone outside the family.
A person who is not as close to you may be able to do the job without as much emotional conflict.
If you do consider someone outside of your family, it might hurt some feelings.
But… it could also be a relief for a family member to not have this responsibility.
Here are some things to think about as you consider the best person for the job.
Ideally, your health care agent should be someone you trust and who knows you well… … A person who can be calm and make difficult decisions, even in stressful situations… … And who will be able to fight for what you want-- even if that's different from what others want.
Your health care agent should also be able to ask good questions of the doctors and share important medical information with others.
And, of course, you need to be sure the person agrees to do the job… and to travel to where you are, if needed.
Once you decide on the best person, you'll want to be sure your family knows who you chose.
If you're worried about reactions, it'll be a lot easier if you let everyone know before you're in the middle of a stressful medical situation.
You'll also want to talk about a few things with the person you choose… …Like what's written in your advance directives, and where you keep them.
Ideally, your health care agent should have a copy of your advance directives.
And you'll want to discuss what's an acceptable quality of life for you… what will make life still worth living.
You'll also want your health care agent to be aware of any family dynamics, including who may not agree with your preferences.
Lastly, you'll want to be sure to make your choice official and legal-- by filling out a medical power of attorney form.
As you choose someone to fill this important role that can really affect your quality of life, keep these points in mind.
And remember, if circumstances change, you can always update your forms, or even choose a different health care agent.
