How to help a loved one in crisis

Suicide affects people of all ages. And often, those who consider it don’t really want to die. They might think it’s the only way to end their pain.

Those having suicidal thoughts may not seek help because they feel helpless, hopeless, guilty or worthless. These feelings may come from having a mental health problem, such as depression. These problems can be treated. It's important to seek help when suicidal thoughts occur. With treatment, you may feel better.

Many people have fleeting thoughts of death. These are different from actively planning to try suicide. The risk of suicide is higher if someone often thinks about death and killing themself or if they have made a suicide plan.

What puts someone at risk for suicidal thinking  

Most people who seriously consider or attempt suicide have one or more of the following risks:

• A personal history of suicide attempts.
• A family history of suicide attempts or completed suicide.
• A personal or family history of severe anxiety, depression, or other mental health problem, such as bipolar disorder or schizophrenia.
• A drug or alcohol problem (substance use disorder).

The chance of suicide is most serious when a person has a plan for suicide that includes:

• Having the means available to try suicide or to harm another person, such as weapons or pills.
• Having set a time and place to attempt suicide.
• Thinking there is no other way to solve the problem or end the pain.

People who consider suicide often are undecided about choosing life or death. With compassion and support, they may choose to live.

What might make someone consider suicide

The reasons people have for considering suicide may change with age. For example:

• Children or teens might consider it after a recent relationship breakup.
• Adults might think of suicide when faced with a job loss, divorce or mental health breakdown.
• Older adults might consider it after the recent death of a partner, being diagnosed with a life-limiting illness or struggling with chronic pain.

If you’re worried about someone, don't be afraid to talk to them. Talking about suicide openly does not encourage them to act and may actually help to prevent suicide. 

Feeling that they are heard and cared for may encourage them to get help.

Get help 24 hours a day, 7 days a week

If someone you know talks about suicide, self-harm, a mental health crisis, a substance-use crisis or any other kind of emotional distress, get help right away. At no cost, you can:

• Call, text, or chat the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988.
• Text AYUDA to 988 for services in Spanish.
• Text HOME to 741741 to access the Crisis Text Line.

Save these numbers in your phone to get help quickly.

Other ways to help someone in active crisis

If you feel safe, stay with a person in the midst of a crisis. Or ask someone you trust to remain with them until help arrives.

Talk about the situation as openly as possible. Tell the person that you don't want them to die or to harm another person.

Show understanding and compassion. Don't argue with the person or deny their feelings. Arguing with the person may only increase their feeling of being out of control of their life.