Developing a sense of belonging, learning, and contributing can help your child develop healthy self-esteem. Use this brief checklist as a daily reminder for yourself.

Belonging

Every day, I will show my child that he or she belongs.

• I let my child know (in at least two ways) that I love him or her.
• I looked at the list of my child's good qualities that is posted on my refrigerator. I added one or more qualities, if needed.
• I praised my child at least two times as often (or more) as I made negative comments.
• I listened to my child's concerns and problems and identified his or her feelings, if needed.
• We had family time today or we have family time planned for this week.

At least once a week, I will have my child involved in structured activities with his or her peers.

Learning

At least once a week, I will create a learning opportunity for my child.

• My child had at least one fun learning experience this week.
• I let my child try the learning experience without taking over for him or her.
• It was a complex task, so we broke it down into small steps.
• I praised my child for his or her efforts.
• We planned a time to practice the new skill again, if needed.

Contributing

Every day, I will let my child know that he or she is contributing in some way.

• We posted our list of family rules (What is a PDF document?) in a spot that helps remind all of us.
• I showed respect for my child in one way today.
• My child has a list of chores that he or she is responsible for. My child understands how to do those chores and the consequences of not doing them.
• We scheduled a regular family meeting (if your family members have agreed to have meetings).
• I made one statement or did one thing to show my child that he or she is part of our family.
• I held my child accountable for his or her choices, behavior, and responsibilities. I enforced the natural or logical consequences, when needed.
• I told my child at least once today that I appreciated something cooperative that he or she had done.