Healthy Eating for Children

Helping Your Child to Eat Well

Setting the stage for pleasant mealtimes

Make a point to eat as many meals together at home as possible. A regular mealtime gives you and your family a chance to talk and relax together. It also helps you and your child to have a positive relationship with food.

• Think of the family meal table as a conflict-free zone where you each come for positive time together. Save problem solving and difficult discussions for a separate time and place.
• Save distractions, such as reading, toys, television watching, or answering the phone, for another time and place.
• Teach and model good table manners and respectful behavior.

No more power struggles—learning to trust your child's choices during meals and snacks

Most children self-correct their undereating, overeating, and weight problems when the power struggle is taken out of their mealtimes.^{3, 4} But the hardest part for most parents is stopping themselves from directing their children's choices ("Eat at least one bite of vegetable." "That's a lot of bread you're eating." "Clean your plate." "No seconds."). When you say things like this, you are taking over the child's job in the division of responsibility. Do your best to avoid commenting.

If your child skips over certain foods, eats lightly, or eats more than you'd like:

• Check yourself. Remember that your child has an internal hunger gauge that controls how much to eat. If you override those signals, your child won't be able to tune into that internal hunger gauge as easily.
• Let your child decide when he or she is full. You can remind your child of the next scheduled meal or snack time, by telling them, for example, "You can eat as much or as little as you want now. We will have our next snack at 4 o'clock."

Expect some rebellion as you change the way you feed your family. At first, your child may eat only one type of food, eat everything in sight, or stubbornly refuse to eat anything. Fortunately, no harm is done if your child chooses to eat too much or skips a meal once in a while. Although it can be tempting to give in to your child's demands, if you give consistent messages to your child about eating and mealtimes, your child will eventually become more comfortable with the division of responsibility.

Gradually, your child's eating habits will balance out. You'll notice that, as long as you provide nutritious choices, your child will eat a healthy variety and amount of food each week. Try to relax through this change in roles, and you'll see your child relax too.

Adjusting your approach based on your child's age

Feeding your infant. From birth, infants follow their internal hunger and fullness cues. They eat when they're hungry, and they stop eating when they're full. Experts recommend that newborns be fed on demand. For more information on feeding your baby, see Feeding Your Infant.

Feeding your toddler/preschooler. As you introduce new foods to your young child's diet, you are encouraging a love of variety, texture, and taste. This is key, because the more adventurous your child feels about foods, the more balanced and nutritious his or her weekly intake will be. Remember that you may need to present a new or different food as many as 15 times or more before your child will be comfortable trying it. This is normal. The key is to offer the new food in a relaxed manner without pressuring your child.

Feeding your teen. When your child becomes a teen, he or she has a lot more food choices outside the home. The division of responsibility still applies. You are still responsible for providing balanced meals in the home. Family mealtimes become especially important.

When should I get help for my child’s eating habits?

If you are worried about your child’s eating habits, you can call your family doctor for help. He or she can advise you on actions you can take or direct you to someone with specific expertise, such as:

• Registered dietitians, who teach people about nutrition or develop diets to promote health. They can also specialize in counseling to help treat food-related problems, including eating disorders.
• Primary care pediatricians, who may have special training and experience in caring for children with eating issues.
• Therapists or counselors, who can help your family cope with eating disorders and with power struggles over eating.
• Psychiatrists, who can provide counseling and medicine.
• Pediatric gastroenterologists, who can rule out or treat conditions of the digestive system, which could cause an eating problem.
• Pediatric endocrinologists, who can rule out or treat hormone conditions that can lead to weight problems.

Call your doctor if:

• Your child has a major change in appetite or weight. This could include eating too much or too little, or gaining or losing weight.
• Eating issues have turned your family’s mealtimes into a battleground.
• You suspect your child may have an eating disorder, such as anorexia or bulimia.

Go to previous section	Go to top of page	Go to next section
Author:	Caroline Rea, RN, BS, MS	Last Updated: September 13, 2007
Medical Review:	Ruth Schneider, MPH, RD - Diet and Nutrition Joanne P. Ikeda, MA, RD - Nutrition Education Specialist and Lecturer
© 1995-2009 Healthwise, Incorporated. Healthwise, Healthwise for every health decision, and the Healthwise logo are trademarks of Healthwise, Incorporated.This information does not replace the advice of a doctor. Healthwise disclaims any warranty or liability for your use of this information. Your use of this information means that you agree to the Terms of Use. How this information was developed to help you make better health decisions.