Growth and Development, Ages 2 to 5 Years
Common Concerns
Common problems parents encounter with their children during the preschool years relate to sleep, eating, safety, and difficult emotions and behavior.
Sleeping
Preschool children between the ages of 2 and 5 need about 11 to 13 hours of sleep each day. Your preschooler may go through phases when he or she resists resting. Sometimes children may refuse to go to sleep as a way to assert their independence. Other times, they may simply need extra attention or reassurance before they feel safe and comfortable enough to sleep well.
You can help foster good sleep habits by:
- Setting bedtime routines. Do things in the same order each night so that the child understands what to expect and associates these steps with going to sleep.
- Handling sleep disturbances in a consistent manner. Sometimes young children wake up and want attention or reassurance. Keep your response the same each time your child wakes up. Sleep problems often become worse if the child is rewarded with attention. Many times, children quickly fall back asleep on their own. If you feel you need to go into your child's room, make the visit quick and businesslike.
- Helping prevent nightmares. Preschool-age children's rich fantasy lives and active imaginations make them prone to nightmares. These typically occur toward the end of the night or very early morning. You can help prevent nightmares by controlling what you allow your child to watch on television. In addition, encouraging your child to regularly talk about daily events helps a child understand his or her environment. This prevents a child from feeling confused or fearful, which also can lead to nightmares.
- Managing night terrors. Night terrors are different from nightmares because the child remains asleep throughout the entire episode and does not have any memory of it in the morning. Night terrors tend to occur about 3 to 5 hours after the child goes to sleep; nightmares usually happen at the end of the night. Children cry intensely and often lose their breath, which often frightens parents. After 10 to 30 minutes, the child will settle down and return to a deep sleep. Do not try to wake a child during a night terror. Instead, reassure your child and hold him or her to prevent injury. Do not be alarmed if your child seems unaware of your presence. Most children grow out of this sleep behavior. Making sure your child gets enough sleep can help reduce the frequency of night terrors.
Eating
Finicky eating habits are common and normal in preschoolers. Many children have smaller appetites than they had in their younger years because they are growing more slowly. As long as you offer nourishing foods from the major food groups
and focus on the big picture—how much is eaten throughout the entire day or over the course of a few days—your child should not have problems. With a parent's guidance, a child naturally balances out his or her diet in an average week.
Safety
To keep a child safe, a parent or caregiver must always be aware of the child's abilities and the environment, whether it is the home, a playground, or a public place. These abilities change as the child grows and gains new skills.
For more information on safety issues, see the topic Health and Safety, Ages 2 to 5.
Behavior
Children between ages 2 and 5 have many intense emotions that they do not fully understand. As a result, expect your young child to not always listen to you. If you exercise patience and do your best to be consistent about limits you set, you can avoid some common preschool behavior issues, which include:
- Temper tantrums. These emotional outbursts are perhaps the biggest behavior challenge for this age group. Many 2- to 4-year-olds have temper tantrums at least once a week. A tantrum is a normal and expected response when something or someone interferes with a young child's attempt to achieve independence or to master a skill. For example, a tantrum may occur when the child becomes angry because he or she does not want to go to bed. For more information, including guidance on how to respond to tantrums, see the topic Temper Tantrums.
- Thumb-sucking. Thumb-sucking in children younger than 4 years old is not usually a problem. Most children stop sucking their thumbs on their own sometime between ages 3 and 6 years. They usually do not need treatment. But children who suck their thumbs frequently or with a lot of force after the age of 3 or 4 may develop emotional, dental, or speech problems. For more information, see the topic Thumb-Sucking.
- Breath-holding spells. These are periods of time when young children stop breathing, frequently causing them to pass out (lose consciousness). Breath-holding spells typically happen when a young child is angry, frustrated, in pain, or afraid. But the spell is a reflex, not a deliberate behavior on the child's part. Breath-holding spells usually occur in children between the ages of 6 months and 4 years, though spells can begin as early as 2 months of age. Some children continue to have spells until they are as old as 6 or 7. Making sure your child gets plenty of rest and helping your child to feel secure and less frustrated may help reduce the number of these episodes. For more information, see the topic Breath-Holding Spells.
- Aggression. Some preschool children become aggressive and may hurt other children physically or emotionally. Hitting, biting, pushing, and shouting are all common forms of aggression. Children's aggressive behavior usually is a normal variation of their temperament. Children gradually learn to control their aggressive feelings as they begin to recognize the feelings of others. Parents can encourage aggressive children to learn self-control by teaching positive behavior and how to channel their feelings into words or other nonphysical expression. Do not spank or hit your child—it usually is ineffective and only instills fear. First, help your child calm down. Later, you can talk about better ways to respond to their feelings. Do not expect immediate changes in behavior. Time, repetition, and reinforcement are usually needed for the lessons to stick. For more information on topics related to aggression, see the topics Biting or Bullying.
Toilet training
A child must be both physically and emotionally ready to use the toilet. Otherwise, efforts are usually unsuccessful and frustrating for both the parent and the child. Although there is great variation between individual children, most are ready for toilet training when they are between 24 and 36 months of age.
You may be confused about when to initiate toilet training. This is not surprising, considering most people are bombarded with advice and expectations from relatives, friends, and day care providers. You may also have personal reasons for wanting your child toilet trained, such as being pregnant and wanting to avoid having two children in diapers at the same time. But your child's physical and emotional readiness for toilet training is the most important aspect of the timing. Although you can begin toilet training your child at an earlier-than-average age, it usually takes longer. Also, both you and your child will likely become frustrated if you attempt toilet training before he or she is physically and emotionally ready.
For more information, see the topic Toilet Training.
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| Author: | Debby Golonka, MPH | Last Updated: April 24, 2007 |
| Medical Review: | Michael J. Sexton, MD - Pediatrics Louis Pellegrino, MD - Developmental Pediatrics | |
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