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Some of the More Serious Reasons People Use their EAP
HPN can help with a broad range of problems. Some are very
serious and others are things that most people can expect to
experience. You can call us for help with every-day problems, but
here are some symptoms which could indicate that there is a fairly
serious need for personal support & assistance. (While
supervisors may have personal concerns and care deeply, it is
important for managers to stay within the agreement to review issues
only as they effect an employee’s job performance.) |
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Crippling or excessive anxieties (phobias or fears)
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Marked personality change
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Prolonged depression and apathy (a sense of helplessness, loss
of pleasure in life, confusion or constant frustration)
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Wide mood swings (extreme highs and lows)
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Excessive anger or hostility; destructive, abusive or violent
behavior
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Abuse of alcohol or other drugs
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Marked changes in eating or sleeping patterns
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Thinking or talking about suicide
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A feeling that you’ve lost control of your life
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Compulsive behaviors (e.g., spending, overeating, gambling)
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Preoccupation with physical illness
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Inability to cope with problems or daily activities such as
school, job or personal needs
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Sexual problems
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Strange or grandiose ideas
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Problems on the job
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Overall decline in job performance
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Difficulty interacting with other people (spouse, parents,
children, co-workers, and friends)
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Denial of obvious problems; strong resistance to receiving help
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Seeing or hearing things that aren’t actually present
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Suspiciousness or paranoia
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Extreme jealousy
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Difficulty with authority
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Social withdrawal and isolation
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Problems with the loss of a loved one
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Problems with the law
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These complaints may indicate the presence of underlying issues
that need to be addressed. You can call for confidential assistance
from HPN.
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Problems With a Co-worker
Developing a Plan to Resolve Conflict
Are conflicts with a co-worker creating unreasonable stress and
frustration for you? This all-too-common an experience can build to
a point where a person does not want to come to work in the morning.
The conflict can affect your life outside of work if the
preoccupation, irritability or resentfulness stays with you beyond
the office doors. In the extreme, whole working systems and teams
may begin to make operational decisions based upon the fact that
employees are not getting along.
Co-worker conflicts can be difficult to manage for several
reasons:
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Because you are "only" working together,
people may
feel that they shouldn’t have to talk about relationships, just
job tasks. "I’m just here to do a job."
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Most people need their job and don’t feel that they have much
of a choice who they work with. There may be a tendency to avoid
attempts to resolve problems for fear of making the conflict
worse and potentially looking bad to supervisors (a possible
weakening of job security).
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Another issue is time - often, there is not time or privacy
available at work to really sit down and talk with someone
uninterrupted.
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A general issue world wide is that changing markets are
demanding different kinds of working teams and new teamwork
communication skills which most people have never had to
practice before. You may not have ever had to work on a
relationship of this nature before.
Managing relationships and conflict, for yourself and as part of
your work team, is one of the most important aspects of most jobs.
Individuals and teams continually move through a process of
(a) forming,
(b) storming,
(c) norming,
(d) performing and back
again. (HPN provides a variety of training involving this
process.)
It is part of every job description (overtly or
implied) to get along with co-workers and to overcome conflict. The
occurrence of conflict is a necessary part of a dynamic, creative,
and competitive working environment. Employees and organizations
either challenge themselves to embrace the process and build new
skills - or risk diminishing their market competitiveness.
Here are some tips to help resolve conflict with co-workers:
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Embrace the idea that maintaining healthy cooperative work
relationships is an important part of your job description.
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Speak politely. Give specific positive feedback & respect,
and ask for feedback from others. Communication is not a
50-50 endeavor. Responsibility for being heard accurately is
100% yours. Don’t just focus on job tasks, but observe how
the other person is responding to your behavior. If something
seems to be unclear, ask for and offer clarification.
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When conflict does arise, start by evaluating your own
response (behaviors and thoughts). What is it about the other
person or the situation that is bringing out strong feelings in
you? Workplace conflict can actually be a powerful teacher. Are
there personal patterns for you to look at: fear of conflict, lack
of assertiveness, vulnerable self esteem, perfectionism,
aggression, care taking? Your willingness to grow and add new
skills is a strength.
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Talk to a friend or mentor about the conflict, but only
for help in clarifying the best approach to speaking with the
person directly. Talking to others as the only course of
action will rarely resolve a conflict. Avoid exchange of
gossip, which inevitably sabotages the moral of your work
environment.
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When you are calm, try talking directly to the person in
private, allowing enough time and privacy. Focus not on trying
to change the other person, but on learning about each other,
so that you can better understand your differences and needs.
Win-win outcomes are usually the only viable way to resolve
workplace conflict. Focus on specific behaviors rather than
attitudes or perceived intentions. Stay away from making
generalizations about the other person. Generate an agreed upon
plan for resolving conflict as it arises in the future and
follow-up; "How are we doing with our plan?" Trust is
built by consistent adherence to clear agreements and maintaining
ongoing communication.
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Health Notes is provided by Health Promotion Northwest,
your employee assistance program. If you or a member of your family are
experiencing personal challenges (for example: financial, marital, family,
stress, depression, and/or chemical dependency), Health Promotion
Northwest
can help. We offer confidential counseling, evaluation and
networking services as well as referrals to community resources. This
service is provided through your employer at no cost to you. To contact
us, call these numbers:
(360) 715-6565 or (800) 244-6142
or email Vince Foster.
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